When I return to the United States from China, I always feel like Sookie Stackhouse in TRUE BLOOD, who was blessed / cursed with the ability to hear other people’s thoughts.
The general background murmur of Beijing – wherein I occasionally catch words such as “apple” or bits like “Isn’t your baby cold?” (which has replaced “Massage?” as the question I get most) – is supplanted by a sea of high resolution (if not high quality) English comments.
Here are a few gems snatched from the ether since my arrival in NYC this morning…
You had more prosciutto today than I’ve ever seen anyone eat my entire life.
Postal workers have a sweet deal. They deliver the mail at their own pace and then have the rest of the day to themselves.
No one has ever been fired for giving 97% instead of 125%.
I adore you, but you’re not a particularly easy person to deal with.
I can get you in front of the musical director of MAMMA MIA. What are you having?
My buddy? He was across the room grabbing ass when he should have been backing me up.
… hashtag merlot, hashtag buttplug…
And I wasn’t even trying. 🙂